In 1972, Harold Pullman Coffin proposed January 16th as National Nothing Day,
to provide Americans with one National day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing or honoring anything.
Sit and celebrate nothing? Appropriate. Why? Tonight we may sit and celebrate the President’s last State of the Union address. (Which State will we celebrate?) His term, one might say, has been as transparent as promised. See-through. “Yes we can!” (“No we won’t.”) Nonproductive.
Instead of watching the address, I reckon we’ll sit and watch House Hunting. (Get it? House hunting? Bwahahaha…)
The presidential campaign rages on. We should consider it a job interview for an important executive post—whose salary we will pay. Job candidates could and should show the leadership, honor, and intelligence we might expect for such a position.
They could show enough respect for their employers, the American people, to discuss the issues that face us. And to offer specific, reasoned executive actions that might be taken in the arena of those issues. But no. They spend campaign time sitting on their nonproductive butts celebrating nothing but themselves. And whining like spoiled brats about each other.
And the mainstream press plays to it, sitting on its nonproductive butt celebrating nothing but its exclusivity in reporting trite exchanges.
Asses, all. Ah, buttocks. A grand invention. Two cheeks. One may at least turn the other. I retreat to the ivory throne to sit and celebrate nothing in particular. You know the sad refrain. Here I sit, all broken-hearted… Nonproductive. Not worth it.