APFwebs ✍︎

New Year’s Day 2022

—December 26, 2021

Eight maids a milking.

By the twelfth day, there’ll be forty maids plus all those cows and their manure. Stock up on bag balm and make room in the fridge. A gift of true love, made of milk.

We may milk the New Year for all it’s worth. Some write “looking back”. Some look forward with noble resolutions. What may one resolve that’ll bear up to a year—or weeks—in review?

Some years, I resolved to have no resolutions. Is that a milquetoast resolution? This year, I resolve to seek, though I may not find. I resolve to seek better laundry: a simple goal, not as noble as others.

Often I use the laundry as a second trastero. It’s a handy place to store clothes.

I may store clothes in the washer until they’re moldy. This may lead to a second wash, at times with bleach. At last I get the clothes to the dryer. I hope for a reprieve like an eff…forty-five.

We got the dryer in ’07. A frequent error was F45. I Tweeted it. Kenmore replied it meant “load imbalance”. They urged us to fix the loose belt. We never did.

I don’t hear or act on the ending beep in the garage. I leave clothes in the dryer too long: mañana. My next dirty load grows (and my clean clothes wane). The machines’ jaws gape for other needs. There’re Jill’s clothes, and there’re linens. Stowing my dry clothes in the bedroom trastero takes just ten or fifteen minutes—and a break to pee. Why wait? Because I can? Seek.

I may look back in a few weeks. Was I resolute? Or when I look back, will laundry wait in the garage? This year, I didn’t notice the beep. No F45 caught my eyes. And mañana passed.

Three rolls of the right hand’s fingers: Twelve drummers drumming…

Stow your dry laundry. Be of good cheer.

Live long and prosper. Have a Happy New Year!

Previous: