Sure as time itself

Just as sure as a buzzard on a gut wagon.

Sure as shit, when I clean the toilet, there’s fresh skid marks by the next day. We run the dishwasher and there’s dirty dishes by the next afternoon. We wake Herbert (the Roomba), and dust motes appear on the floor by sleight of hand soon after. Poof!

I do the laundry and a lump forms in the laundry bag by the next night. Who keeps dirtying these clothes? And why is it, without fail, while I’m putting away freshly clean laundry, I have to pee? It’s a Conspiracy Of Things (COT). Didn’t I just do that?

Can’t get an even break. No respect.

After 227 or so years, sure enough, a floater makes skid marks in the White House while treading water to grab for toilet paper. Executive actions can be stopped only by laws, and laws take time to pass and judge. Constipation is a hard thing.

Sure as shit.