The virus show

“And now, here it is, that rip-roarin’ virus of the year folks have come to know, Covid Nine Te-e-e-een!”

“Thank you, Johnny. I just love all this attention. But don’t get me wrong…”

“It’s a little hard playing to an empty audience. But I guess it’s a little better than dead silence.”

“Well, in other news today, I heard Trump compare me to influenza. Whadya think he meant? Come summer it just flu away? Get it? Flu? Get? Away? So right after this break, our first guest is that old virus you’ve known for years, influenza.”

“And we’re back. Now it could make you gasp at how it’s been all over for years, not like me. Really gets around: a well-travelled thing. Get it? No comparison, frequent mutations, here it is: Influenza!”

“Thanks, Co. Er…you don’t mind if I call you Co?”

“Not at all, Flu. So. I guess you’re kind of dormant these days, eh?”

“Oh, I reckon I’m spread a little thin at the moment. When your nose is runny it’s not anything to sneeze about, though… How about you?”

“Oh, you know how it goes. Toilet paper and beans in isolated cases, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous, hacking and drive-throughs and grabbing for the old Purell…”

Maybe someday we’ll get to look back on all this and groan. And now for a word from our sponsors.